the build-up and some background :)

well, we were done.  like-seriously-shook-hands-in-ethiopia-done.  well, so much for that pact.  greg and i both blame sandy allen.  while on a summer rollerskate date (7 moms, 43 kids :), she says, "you're not really done."  i said, "no, really we are.  greg had even used capital letters DONE."   she said, "don't believe it" to which i reply, "okay, i could maybe be swayed, but greg is firm."  she said, "so what if i found a little girl?"  i told her to take that up with smurf as i was not getting involved :)

wasn't more than a week later, she emails and said she sent greg a picture.  at breakfast one morning, he tells me he got an email from sandy.  i act shocked.  even though she had sent it to me too.  i comment that the little girl's name is lucinda and when i was young, i'd always said i'd name my little girl lucy (we've since settled on hannah, but know God used that name to get my attention).  a few days pass and he comments that dr. wehrle, our family eye doctor, would need to look at her file.  wasn't more than five minutes after he leaves for work that i call dr. wehrle :)  he says regarding her eyes, it is basically a crapshoot.  she could have decent vision or none at all.  well, i told dr. wehrle thanks for narrowing that down for us :).  her paperwork had said she would probably need a corneal transplant.  dr. wehrle also says that the #1 corneal transplant surgeon in the entire world is in indianapolis.  he said, "jan, that ain't no coinkidink."  i'm thinking it ain't either.

so, i tell greg about dr. wehrle's feedback.  nothing else gets said for a couple of days.  i'm in the 'holy moly.  i seriously cannot believe we may be heading down this road again.'  but just like being pregnant, you get used to the idea really quickly.  and then one evening, everybody's getting ready to watch a movie.  i'm in our closet putting clothes away.  greg hollers to ask me where 'that picture' is?  i play dumb.  "what picture?"  "the one of the little girl sandy sent."  he then finds it on his ipad and asks sarah, "do you think this could be your little sister?"  and i knew.  we are heading down this road again.

and there were two seemingly small things that were my Godwinks.   i wear lots of random, cheap bracelets.  i'd had a particular silly band on for a looong time.  i'd gotten sam a package of Peanuts ones for Christmas and he'd given me one.  i'd never noticed it said anything on it until one day i'm in the car at the library waiting.  my arm is resting on the steering wheel and i notice my silly band said "LUCY".  always had, i'd just never seen it.  to prove that yes, i'm really as wacky as you may already think - i've had a favorite number since 7th grade.  1154.  it makes me smile, and smurf and my kids love nothing more than pointing them out to me.  on license plates, on clocks, on things you'd never expect to find 1154, but they do :).  our family will now have 11 people.  5 girls, 4 boys.  

we go through the wringer with holt to get approved since we already have 8 kids in the home.  to say we were warmed up to begin the homestudy process is an understatement.  in hindsight, it was good to have to think through all the things they wanted to know.  it just didn't feel like it at the time :)

we drove to maine late august for our vacation (btw, totally recommend maine as a vacation destination).  i had decided a couple days before that i wasn't going on a china mission trip with greg, abigail, and sam in october.  i'd been planning on going for months, but was feeling extra crazy trying to get kid coverage, begin the homestudy process, and kick-off a big church project.  imploding on myself comes to mind.  one of the toughest things i've done was to send those three 8,000 miles away for two weeks.  faith-builder.  anyway, back to driving to maine.  i had emailed our good good hong kong friend who was helping coordinate the mission trip that i wasn't now going on.  i tried to convince him i had a good reason -- we were adopting again and that i'd be doing that trip in the spring, Lord willing.  of course, he wanted pictures of the newest ranger (he was with us throughout abi's adoption and was a G.o.d.s.e.n.d.)  i email him the information and he replies that he has a new buddy who is a U.S. eye surgeon and can he forward it to him?  (the october mission trip was to perform cataract surgeries on the elderly in a remote village so alex was in eye mode :).  i told him sure and didn't think much of it.  until i have an email within the hour from the director of opthalmology of the cleveland clinic!  an amazing Christian man.  he reviews the additional medical file that holt had sent us.  he said it is highly unlikely that a corneal transplant would be the way to go at this point but our top priority most likely will be to get an artificial eye in what he called the 'lazy, undeveloped eye'.  he said because this eye has no use or vision (at least that is what the medical information reports), her orbital bones have not grown and that side of her face will grow asymmetrically if a larger eyeball isn't there to trigger growth.  or at least that was my understanding of what he said :).  we've learned about other special needs throughout our adoptions, so we are counting on God to help us with this one also.

each adoption is different, but one thing that seems to run consistently is feeling very close to the heart of God while simultaneously being under serious attack by the evil one.  guess that means you are doing the right thing, huh?  and it probably goes without saying, He is the master at changing stubborn old hearts who think they've got things figured out.

timeline stuff:
7/2      rollerskate date that started it all
8/2      application to holt
8/21    pre-approval from china (PA)
10/21  filed with USCIS
12/21  dossier to china (DTC)
12/27  log-in with china (LID)
2/1      confirmation that she knows!